Finding someone to be in a relationship is actually quite easy. Finding someone to be in a relationship that actually fulfills you, however, is a different story. So how do you find a relationship that truly fulfills your needs and desires? Setting your priorities straight and having realistic expectations will help guide you into the right direction in finding the relationship you have always wanted. Before you can do that though, you need to make sure that you feel fulfilled on your own first.


So many people end up in relationships that do not fulfill them because they are entering the relationship with the wrong expectations and for the wrong reasons. A big example of this is someone entering a relationship as a way to feel complete. Many people feel unsatisfied with themselves and their lives, and believe that someone else will be able to fill in that gap for them. Placing the responsibility for your happiness on someone else is unrealistic and will only result in disappointments in the relationship. You also need to acknowledge and accept the fact that there is no such thing as ?the perfect relationship? and that there will be issues that will require teamwork and compromise.


Most people have the idea that if a relationship is truly happy and meant to be, then there never will be any problems and should not require so much work- it should just be happy. Well, if this is how you view relationships, then it is time to change your way of thinking before you set yourself up for more painful reality checks. If you are interested in finding a person to build a strong romantic relationship with, the best thing to do would be to start by focusing on yourself first- and make sure that you are have your life sorted out, before deciding to share it with someone else. Majority of people would read this say ? of course, it?s common sense? and while this may true, people still enter relationship with unrealistic expectation, wrong reasons or before making sure they are fulfilled on their own first.


So if you feel you are ready to be in a serious, committed relationship, do your self a favor and take it one step at a time. Review the relationship you have with yourself first and make sure that you are truly happy with you are and where you stand currently in your life. Ask yourself why you feel the need to be in a relationship, what you are prepared to invest into it, as well as what you are expecting from your partner. Sorting this out will help you understand your relationship goals and will help you understand what it is you need to look for in a person when trying to find a romantic partner to share your life with.

http://www.love-sessions.com/fulfilling_relationship.htm

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Love, Lust and Romance what is the difference.

What is Love

All the beings in the world, mammals, birds, marine species, etc. have an in-born lust so that they are able to mate and reproduce. Reproduction is the only way to continue the existence of the species. As such, lust is a basic biological need.

For the male and the female to get attracted to each other as well as for the selection of the most suitable mate, romance is necessary. Both lust and romance are gender-specific and occur normally between a male and female. On the other hand, love is universal and love is neither gender-specific nor species-specific. A man could love a woman or another man or an animal or a bird. Love knows no bounds. Let us make a brief analysis on the manifestation of love, romance and lust in human beings and the resultant repercussions of each one of them.

Love is a tender but deep feeling of attraction towards a being or an object. Love is not limited to any one single thing. You can love your dog and at the same time, you can love your dress. Love is expanding by nature and the more you love, the happier you feel. It is very difficult to restrict love because it is a second nature for all of us. We cannot live without love. The reasoning is very simple. Our first love is we ourselves. Unless you love yourself, you would not be able to live. Think for a minute. Those who commit suicide do it only in that fraction of a moment when they hate themselves, whatever is the reason for that. Our personal love progresses further to include members of our family, relatives, friends, coworkers, neighbors, and others in our community. Love could be mild in nature or an intense one. The intense love or desire makes you obsessive and highly possessive of that person or object of your love. All our problems and conflicts start at this point only.


There is one more thing about love. Love does not get restricted to physical objects. Even our emotional aspects are part of our love. You say, ?I love swimming,? ?I love singing,? etc. We can love even physical and emotional activities. Many of us love to daydream about several things. This is emotional love.





In English language, so many idioms use love as their theme. A few examples are given below.

Love is blind
Make love
Puppy love
Labor of love
No love lost
Fall in love
Not for love or money
All is fair in love and war
Love at first sight

Diane Ackerman wrote, ?Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.? It is very difficult to describe love in words. To quote Barbara De Angelis, ?Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible ? it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.?

While love encompasses everything, romance and lust occur normally between a male and female. Margaret Anderson said, ?In real love you want the other person?s good. In romantic love, you want the other person.? Romance is always considered to be a pleasant experience. Maximum numbers of novels are based on romance only. So are many movies and television shows. However, many romances end as a failure because the initial infatuation covers up the negative traits. Later on, when the knowledge of such negative aspects starts growing, disenchantment sets in. As such, for a romance to succeed, both the partners should be clear on what each one expects from the other. An open discussion on such matters makes understanding each other easier and results in a harmonious relationship. It is important to enjoy the companionship and remain relaxed in a romantic relationship.
Psychologists hold that romantic love emerges purely from a desire for self-gratification. They feel that the illusions that lead to romantic love are very powerful emotions and have to be properly controlled.

On the other hand, lust is a somewhat dangerous one because mostly lust is an intense feeling. Lust could be between human beings or you could even lust after money or other material objects. When one is in lust, normally the thinking cap slips off and the results could be disastrous. Hence, deep and clear analysis and understanding the nature of your lust is very much needed. Lust is also a desire for self-gratification but much more powerful than a romantic love. When you lust after somebody or something, your strong craving to get that person or object tends to make you transgress borders. Controlling the emotion of lust is very difficult. Most of the time, after you have attained the person or object that you lusted after, a guilty feeling sets in. Hence, proper restrain in needed when you have the feeling of lust.

QUESTIONS:
1. What is the difference of love, lust and romance?
2. Why do obsession and possessiveness can cause conflict in a relationship?
3. What is your own definition of love?
4. Do you believe that love can transform a person?
5. Do you think that romantic love are very powerful emotions and have to be controlled?
6. Will you still love a person even though you discover his/her negative traits?
7. Do you think that lust after money or other material things is the root of all kinds of evil or can harm others?
8. Is it possible to control the emotion of lust?
9. Have you ever felt lust with something?
10. Are you willing to break all boundaries/limitations just to get somebody or object?


http://www.love-sessions.com/love_or_lust.htm

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