Dealing with Stress, Stepping out of your Comfort Zone

There’s no doubt about it: stress is one of the most common features of modern life. While it’s true that in the past, people were stressed too, the distinct characteristic of modern life, and what gives people these days even more tension than their ancestors is life’s complexity. When you think about it, the sheer number of choices facing people on a daily basis is jarring. From marriage and children careers and hobbies, we have more choices facing us than we can sometimes handle. The result is stress. So, how stressed are you? Care to know? Have a look at the following simple stress test to get an idea.

Stress Test

Answer each question using a number. When you complete the questionnaire, add up your total number of points. An answer key is provided below. Discuss the results.

1= Never True 2= Sometimes True 3= Often True 4= Always True


1. I try to do as much as I can in the time I have.
2. I dislike being interrupted and sometimes become irritable.
3. If I don’t win at games, I don’t really have a good time playing them.
4. I speed to get through intersections before the light turns red.
5. I don’t like to ask people for help on a problem.
6. The respect and admiration of others is very important to me.
7. I often check the time.
8. I look for ways of doing better and achieving more.
9. I don’t have enough time to do things I need to do.
10. I do more than one thing at a time.
11. I get angry or irritable.
12. I don’t spend time alone or have time to enjoy my hobbies.
13. I dislike talking with people who speak slowly.
14. I work at or near my limit.
15. My friends and relatives think I work at or near my limit.
16. I am involved in several projects at the same time.
17. I do most of my work to meet deadline.
18. If I am not doing something, I feel uneasy or guilty.
19. I take on too many responsibilities.
20. I am dissatisfied with the way other people do their work.

Answer Key
· If your score is between 20 and 30, chances are you are non-productive or your life lacks stimulation.
· A score between 31 and 50 indicates a good balance in your ability to handle and control stress.
· If you tallied up a score ranging between 51 and 60, your stress level is marginal and you are bordering on being excessively tense.
· If your total number of points exceeds 60, you may be candidate for heart disease.

Discussion:

1. Briefly describe your stress symptoms. Do you withdraw from people? Sleep more? Sleep less? Become irritable? Smoke more? Eat more? Experience muscle tension or pain? Get headaches?
2. What causes you the most stress? Family, relationships, work, colleagues, romance, personal issues?
3. How do you deal with your stress? Is it a healthy way to deal with it? Does your way of dealing with it lead to more stress?
4. What is the key to reducing stress in life? Exercise? Balance? Sleep?
5. Do you think that having some stress is a good thing? Why or why not?
6. Someone once said, “Having no stress is stressful.” What does this mean? Do you agree?
7. Korean workweeks are, on average, still longer than their counterparts in other countries. How does this affect you personally?
8. Have you participated in any physical activity to reduce your stress? How about yoga, tai chi, or meditation?
9. What is your perspective on drinking to relieve stress?
10. Does smoking really reduce stress? Why do so many people use stress as an excuse to smoke?
11. Which would you choose and why: a fast-paced, exciting, but stressful job in a large city or a relaxed, fulfilling, sometimes boring job in the country?
12. Koreans often describe themselves as the “hurry-up people.” Are you satisfied with the rushed lifestyle in Korea or would you like to see it become more relaxed? If you were suddenly President and could change something to make the country less stressful, what would you change? If you’re happy about the lifestyle, explain why?
13. The “hurry-up” mentality has caused some problems for Korea. Some say the collapse of both the Sam-poong Department Store and the Sung-soo Bridge are examples of this. What do you think?

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I can't name a single person who doesn't have some fantasies about being filthy rich. I'm quite certain that most people also have the same daydreams. Just look at the lines of people buying lottery tickets and you'll see the stars in their eyes.

But, how in the world do you marry a millionaire? Do you just walk up to people in the streets, ask them if they're rich and single? It's a great fantasy but not one that most people have the pleasure of turning into a reality.

There are reality TV shows that allow people to compete for the opportunity to win the heart of and marry a millionaire. That just doesn't seem to be the proper way to court and fall in love. But, stuff like that brings in viewers and more viewers ensure profits for TV producers.

If you really want to marry a millionaire, make it happen. Just know that you might have to change your lifestyle before you even attempt to chase that dream. If you want to be rich, surround yourself with rich people. Just make sure you are able to fit in. Normal people can't marry a millionaire if they don't play the part. Think about it, millionaires are probably well educated, worldly and live life in a certain manner. Remember Marilyn Monroe's role in "How to Marry A Millonaire"? Pretend you're her. Woo the lady or man that you've always dreamed of. I can't say that just because you may get lucky enough to marry a millionaire, you'll be happy. As much as you may think money buys happiness, and for me it just might, it may have the opposite affect. Perhaps after the ownership of expensive materials gets boring, you may realize how much you don't enjoy your lifestyle. I'm not sure why, so don't ask. But it could happen. You've seen the shows and movies. There's always the lady who does marry a millionaire and has a miserable life. Maybe he's never around. Maybe he has girlfriends all over the place. Maybe she's lonely and empty inside. Maybe they need to spend some of their earnings on therapy.

You certainly didn't marry a millionaire, but he/she is one in a million. You struggle to pay our bills some months and have arguments about money. Sure, You'd absolutely love to have a huge house and expensive cars, constant shopping sprees and go on exotic vacations. In fact, that's what people think about when they are waiting behind all of those hopeful people in the lines to buy lottery tickets. They don't need to marry a millionaire; they just need a few lucky winning numbers.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

1. Have you ever had fantasies/dreamed of becoming rich or marrying a millionaire?

2. Are there any reality TV shows in Korea?

3. What do you think about reality TV shows or dating game that allow people to compete for the opportunity to win the heart of and marry a millionaire?

4. Do you think this is a proper way to fall in love or is this a proper way to choose your lifetime partner?

5. What is your ideal courtship?

6. Do you believe that if you want to be rich you need to surround yourself with rich people?

7. What do you think about people who are social climbers?

8. What is your idea of a happy family?

9. If a person marries a millionaire is there an assurance that the person will be happy?

10. Do you believe that money can buy happiness?

11. What about king and queen do you think they enjoy their lifestyle?

12. If given a chance to choose would you like to be famous and rich but not happy or an ordinary person but happy?

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They come around once a year and heaven forbid that you forget one! Wedding anniversaries are a time to let your partner know that they are special. It's a chance to show your romantic side. Some people like to be traditional and follow the set rules for anniversary presents, from paper for the first anniversary to diamonds for the sixtieth. It's a long time to wait for diamonds. It would be an achievement to follow the anniversary presents list every single year. You may want to use your own imagination and knowledge of your partner, perhaps honoring the crystal, silver, pearl, ruby, gold, and diamonds for the landmark years.

The anniversary doesn't have to be celebrated by anything tangible. Anniversary presents could include a special outing or experience. Perhaps you could organize a trip in a hot air balloon or a hang gliding lesson. You could put together your own romantic day, with a champagne picnic in a row boat on the river. That will probably be treasured more than expensive earrings or cuff links.

If you don't want to organize something yourself, you can buy anniversary presents in the form of experience days, where the whole day is set up and you just enjoy. There's everything from swimming with sharks (divorce is less dangerous), to a day in a health spa. If it's difficult to decide on something you both like, you could take it in turns to choose.

There are some presents that can't be gift wrapped but make a wonderful statement. Anniversary presents just need a bit of lateral thinking. A tree can be planted in your partner's name, maybe in a place that means a lot to both of you. You could go beyond earth and name a star for your beloved. That star will carry that name forever and there will be a certificate of registration, so no one can take the name away. When you promised them the moon and the stars, you sort of did it! While you're at it, you could have a favorite song played on the radio.

If you do want something that your partner can open and you can see the delight in their eyes when they unwrap their anniversary presents, you could buy a piece of original art. Make sure it's to their taste and not just yours. A painting, a sculpture, or an antique that your partner has mentioned or hinted at! Why not compose your own poem. Romantic anniversary presents don't come more personal than that. If your talents don't lie in that direction, buy a book of love poems to be on the safe side.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

1. Have you ever celebrated anniversary?
2. What does anniversary mean to you?
3. What is your ideal anniversary presents?
4. Do you think celebrating anniversary is important?
5. How can you show and let your partner know they are special?
6. Which do you think a person will appreciate and treasured more, an expensive jewelry gift or a romantic day together?
7. Are you a romantic type of person?
8. Have you ever gave a card or letter to your partner?
9. Do you believe that anniversary is the time to celebrate the good year of your relationship and be thankful that your still together?
10. What are some of the qualities of your partner that you appreciate?

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