A husband is bringing in the groceries.

Sam: You’ll never guess who I bumped into at Loblaw’s today!
Grace: Who?
Sam: Jerry. You remember Jerry… my old fishing buddy?
Grace: Oh, we haven’t seen him in ages!
Sam: Yeah. But you know, he hasn’t aged a day. He still looks exactly the same.
Grace: So, how is he? Is he still married to that… what was her name? isn’t that crazy we used to be bosom pals and now I can’t even remember her name.
Sam: You mean Deborah?
Grace: Right, Deborah. It was on the tip of my tongue. Are they still together?
Sam: Nope. Divorced. He has really let himself go, too. He looked like hell.
Grace: Aw, that’s a shame. They made a nice couple. Well, he must have a lot of time on his hands now. We should invite him for dinner.
Sam: No way! Are you crazy?
Grace: Well, I just thought…
Sam: Don’t you remember the last time we invited Jerry over? He drank like a fish, hit on every woman in the room, and made a complete ass of himself. I was mortified.
Grace: Oh, that’s right. Your parents were there, too. Well, why don’t we let bygones be bygones and invite him for a dinner on Friday?
Sam: Hmm…alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Comprehension:
1. Briefly explain in your own words what Sam and Grace are talking about.
2. What is Sam’s opinion of Jerry?
3. What does Grace mean by ‘let bygones be bygones’?
4. Do you have any friends that your family or spouse do not approved of? How do you keep the peace?
5. Are there any friends you’ve lost touch with? Why do you think you haven’t been able to keep in touch?
6. Do you think that it’s easy or difficult for married people to be friends with single or divorced people? Why?

Reading

Throughout our lives, our idea of what makes someone a good friend might change, but the general principles remain the same.

In kindergarten, good friends might have let us have the red crayon, instead of the yucky black one. They were the one who seemed able to play with us for extended periods without it turning into all out war. They were the ones who shared their precious snacks with you at lunchtime.
In childhood, good friends were the people who were always there to sit with at lunchtime or the people who always wanted to walk home with you after school. They were the people who laughed at your antics, when everyone else thought you were being idiotic.

In adolescence, good friends let you copy their homework, risked punishment to pass you notes in class, always managed to get the seat next to you, and never revealed who you secretly had a crush on.

As a teenager, your good friends were probably your partners in naughtiness, helped you laugh through the rough world of growing up, stood by and cheered on your successes, and picked you up and dusted you off after the sting of disappointments or betrayal.

As adults, good friends are those who are dependable, always ready with a listening ear, words of encouragement, or advice. Good friends remember your birthday. Good friends are the people you want to call when something has got you down, or when things suddenly seem to be falling apart. Good friends don’t let you take yourself too seriously. They let you be yourself, but also help you grow to become a better person.

DISCUSSION:

1. Which of your friends have you known the longest? How did the two of you meet? How often do you see each other these days?
2. Do you think that men and women can be friends? How about after marriage?
3. Describe a perfect evening spent with friends.
4. Are there any long lost friends you’d like to get back in touch with?
5. Do you usually hang out with the same group of close friends or with many different people?
6. Do you usually socialize with people from work or church?
7. In Western countries, it is common to invite groups of people to one’s house for a dinner party, potluck party, pool party, or barbeque. Why do you think these sorts of social gatherings are uncommon in Korea?
8. How does alcohol influence the way people socialize?
9. What kinds of people do you get along with really well? Are there any sorts of people you don’t normally get along with?
10. If you had a serious problem, who would you be more likely to talk to about it first, a family member or a close friend? Why?
11. What makes a friendship last a long time?
12. Do you think it is possible to overcome shyness? How?
13. What makes someone a great conversationalist?

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As a guide to morally acceptable behavior, many people used to refer to the list of virtues. A virtue is a good quality or way of behaving.

· Can you think of some situations in which these virtues are still important?
· Are some of these virtues unrealistic in today’s world?

Discuss some of the following virtues:

Politeness: good manners; socially acceptable behavior; not being rude
Justice: fairness in the way that people are treated
Courage: doing something difficult or dangerous despite your fear
Gratitude: thanking someone for something they have done or given to you
Humility: being modest; not believing that you are better than someone else
Purity: following what you know to be morally acceptable behavior
Fidelity: loyalty to a person, organization or set of beliefs
Generosity: doing or giving more than is usual or expected
Mercy: choosing not to harm or punish someone you have power over
Gentleness: acting in a calm and controlled manner with little force

DISCUSSION:

1. Where do you think we get our sense of right and wrong?
2. Why do you think most people have a conscience? Do you have a strong conscience? Give reasons to support your answer.
3. Some people do things that they know are wrong only because others also do. In English, we call this ‘peer pressure’ or ‘social pressure’. Why do you think people sometimes follow the crowd?
4. How can you teach your children the difference between right and wrong?
5. Are you optimistic or pessimistic about human nature?
6. Is there anything you’ve done that you regret?
7. Do you believe that people who try hard to be good will ultimately be rewarded for their efforts? What makes you think so?
8. Altruism is the act of helping other people even though there is no benefit for ourselves. Do you believe that there is such a thing as real altruism, or do people simply do such things to feel better about themselves?
9. After doing something you know is wrong, do you usually try to justify your actions to yourself? What are some of the ways you can do this?
10. Who is responsible for teaching and upholding moral and ethical behavior; our parents, our teachers, the government, or someone else?
11. If a friend tries to persuade you to do something that is against your conscience, do you tend to be easily persuaded or do you usually stick to your principles?
12. Do you think that it is unfair to criticize others for behaving badly in certain situations unless we have first faced the same situation ourselves and done the right thing?

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So, you have been looking at the list of changes you want to make in your life. They may include:

1. lose weight
2. get my career into high gear
3. face my fears
4. increase my self-esteem
5. improve my love-life
6. feel less depressed and more satisfied with my life
7. learn to cope with work stress
8. free myself from the baggage of my past

These are some of the difficult issues that people usually face. Whether your list matches the one above or not, it may be as challenging. For many people change is too challenging and too difficult. Therefore, they keep recycling their list of desired changes from one year to the next.

How does a person change their life when will-power doesn't work? When will-power fails, where do you turn? People often turn to professionals to help facilitate the changes they desire. Licensed Professional Counselors, Psychologists and Clinical Social Workers specialize in guiding people through the process of change. They help people mobilize their own inner resources toward their desired outcomes.

Over the years many counseling methods have been developed to help people who seek a change in their life. Some therapies only pay attention to behavior, others to thinking or to discharging feelings. Some approaches are long on listening without giving feedback while others seek to analyze and explain every aspect of one's life. Now more research is being done to determine what is and is not effective in helping people create positive change in their lives.

If you want your next year to be your best one yet, do not accept what you have accepted from life thus far. Life will only give you what you accept. Break the box of false contentment you have erected around yourself and step into your destiny.

DISCUSSION:

1. Do you write a list of changes you want to make in your life?
2. What is the one main thing that you would like to change about your own personality in order to improve your life?
3. What are some goals you set yourself for next year?
4. We tend to assume that circumstances change easily and often, but that people change rarely, slowly, and with great difficulty. Do you think that it’s very easy for people to change?
5. People think that they will be happy when they achieve a certain goal in life. However, this is rarely true. Why do you think that are many people are never satisfied with their life? Are you easily satisfied?
6. Do you think that it is possible to be complete content with your life? Do you know anyone who is perfectly content with his or her life?
7. People often complain about other’s faults. If you could change something about someone you know, whom would you change and what would you change about them?
8. Can you remember the day that was perfect? What happened?
9. If you could go back in time and change some aspect of your childhood or your past life, what would you change and why?
10. Think of a mistake you have made this year and what are some positive things you can learn from it?
11. Do you want to put all the bad things that have happened behind, and start fresh?

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Are Koreans more superstitious than people in other countries? Perhaps. Is there a culture that doesn’t have any superstitions? That’s quite unlikely. We all have our old wives’ tales. In the West, many children don’t look under their bed, and can’t go to sleep if their bedroom door is closed, claiming that a ghost or monster might be lurking.

It is true that not everyone in the West is superstitious, but a lot of people do have their share of supernatural beliefs. Many people would feel a little uncomfortable if they broke a mirror or spilled salt and then forgot to throw some over their left shoulder to protect themselves from bad spirits.

Many Westerners do believe in UFOs. There are many claims of sightings, and people can’t seem to get enough information and material on this subject.

There are several conspiracy theories about government cover-ups and alien abductions.
Koreans generally give more credence to what a fortune-teller might tell them than Westerners do. The practice of visiting a fortune-teller before making a major decision, such as opening business or marriage, is very common in Korea. People in the West do visit fortune- tellers but for the most part, the predictions are not taken seriously. Most of the time, psychics are consulted as a form of entertainment or just out of curiosity.

DISCUSSION:

1. Are Koreans generally superstitious than Westerners?
2. Do you have any lucky charms or items you carry with you on special occasion? Do you have a lucky hat/shirt/pencil for exams?
3. Do you know anyone who visits psychic regulary?
4. Have you ever visited a fortune-teller to hear your “sa-joo”? Do you believe in “sa-joo”?
5. Will or did your mother visit a fortune-teller to hear your “goong-hap”?
6. What happens to people after death? Are they reincarnated? Do they go to Heaven? Hell?
7. Do you think there are some truths behind superstitions? Would you write someone’s name in red?
8. What superstitions did you have as a child? What about now? Were you afraid of the dark when you were young? If so, what did you do?
9. If someone you trust told you they’d seen a ghost, would you believe them? Why or why not?
10. Do you believe in miracles? Do you know of any miracles?
11. How many Korean and Western superstitions do you know of? Name some.
12. Have you or anyone you know ever seen a UFO? If not, how would you respond if someone told you they’d seen one? If you had no proof, would you tell someone you’d seen a UFO?
13. Is it possible that UFO exist? Where might they come from?
14. Do you think that aliens might be smarter than us? Do you think they would be friendly or hostile? What do you think they might look like? Describe one.
15. Can you remember your dreams? Do you often have dreams? How about recurring dreams? How about nightmares?
16. What was your “tae-mong”? What do people say it means?
17. Do dreams come true? Do they predict the future? What experiences have you or anyone you know had with this phenomena?
18. Do you believe that houses can be haunted? Have you or anyone you know ever been in a haunted house?
19. Do you believe that there are people, like the “moo-dang”, who have special abilities to communicate with the spirit-world and see the future and the past?
20. Why are some people afraid to admit that they’re superstitious? Are they afraid that others will think that they are weak or foolish?

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Reading

Have you ever had the desire to wander the world and see what was out there? While some people prefer to stay in the comfort of their own home, others have been bitten by the travel bug and can't wait to explore the world. Exotic places call to them. "Come visit me and I will show you my mysteries," they say.

Every year millions of people pack their suitcases or put on backpacks and flock to visit the seven continents of the world. They wander through the castles and museums of Europe, and the cities and natural wonders of North and South America. Some visit the vast exotic cultures of Asia, Africa and the Middle East. The great outback of Australia is a wonderland for those who go there. And a few lucky people even make to the most mysterious continent on the earth- Antarctica.

Why do people want to explore the world? It gives them a better perspective about the earth and the people living on it. It opens their minds, it gives them a feeling of accomplishment, and it makes them feel alive. So save some money, get your passport ready, and see the world. It will change your life forever.

Vocabulary

travel bug (idiom) - strong desire to travel
to be bitten by the travel bug (idiom) - kind of a cute way to say when someone begins to want to travel. After the "bug" bites you, you will really want to travel.
to wander - to go from one place to another without any definite plans
to be in the comfort of (one's) own home- to be at home, in a familiar or comfortable place
to explore - to look around and find out new things
exotic (adjective) - strange, mysterious, exciting, unknown
mystery - something unknown, something that needs to be found out
to flock - large amounts of people go to the same place at the same time
vast (adjective) - very large
perspective - view, way of seeing things
accomplishment - feeling like you have done something important and good

Getting Away

Travel, Korean Style
The travel bug has bitten Koreans. Although most Koreans have only been able to travel since the late 1980’s, they are making the most of his opportunity. Koreans are traveling everywhere on the globe. Some people prefer a winter vacation as opposed to a summer one. They prefer a warm climate during the cold months at home. Others prefer traveling during the summer months, when the climate is more moderate in their host country. No matter what of year, Koreans are filling the buses to Incheon airport.

It may come as a surprise to many Koreans, but Westerners, for the most part, have not been traveling for much longer than Koreans. It was only after the Second World War that their parents and grandparents started to leave their homes and travel to exotic destinations. It was only in the 60’s that travel by young people really opened up. At that time, young people were turning out by thousands. They were going to Europe, Asia and Mexico, hoping to find the meaning of life.

Food is still a primary concern for Koreans when traveling abroad. Many Koreans still haven’t acquired a taste for foreign food. They bring their own with them or go on package tours in which Korean food is guaranteed. Initially, Western parents did the same thing. Nowadays, fast food restaurants are commonplace and Westerners don’t have the same problem. Also Westerners have become more accepting of foreign food and may be more willing to try local delicacies. This is because of their longer travel experience and also because many Western countries are quite multicultural. In the future, Koreans may well follow this same path.

Comprehension:

1. Do you prefer planning your own itinerary or do you prefer to join in a package tour?
2. What is the best way to get an authentic taste of an area in a short time?
3. What is the main reason you (would) travel; to learn something new, to relax, for a change of scenery, or for some other reason?
4. Do you (or would you) make an effort to learn about culture, history, geography of an area before you visit it?
5. List the most popular tourist destinations for Koreans. What it is about each of these places that is attractive?
6. Do you consider sampling the local food and drink to be an important part of experiencing the culture of a country?
7. Do you (would you) take Korean food with you when you travel?
Discussion:
1. What do you enjoy most about traveling? What is your biggest complaint about it?
2. Have you ever had any hellish travel experience, like lost luggage, stolen money or passports, delayed or missed flights?
3. Where would you expect encounter:
· The warmest hospitality?
· The rudest service?
· The most vibrant lifestyle?
· The most relaxed lifestyle?
· The worst traffic and transportation?
· The dirtiest living conditions?
4. Some places are considered more dangerous than others. What places would you consider really dangerous to visit?
5. Do you think Korean employees receive enough holiday entitlement, compared to employees in other developed countries?
6. Do you usually travel light? Or do you take everything with but the kitchen sink? What item do you consider absolutely essential when traveling?
7. How is traveling with friends different from traveling with your family? Which do you prefer?
8. Have you ever been really sick while on vacation? Have you injured yourself? Did you require hospitalization?
9. Do you think the security measures that are in place at airports these days are lenient, adequate or excessive? Have you ever had your luggage searched? How did you feel?
10. How do you go about choosing your vacation destination? Is cost the primary consideration?

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For Better or Worse


It is said that a man undergoes many changes from the time he goes into the military to the time when he comes out again. Discuss each of the following changes with your teacher and say which ones you agree or disagree with and why.






Men…

1. Are more ready to settle down when they come out of the military.
2. Are more relaxed and carefree before they go into the military.
3. Are better at household chores when they come out of the military.
4. Are better at household chores when they come out of the military.
5. Have more respect for authority and are more law-abiding after military service.
6. Are more disciplined and responsible when they come out of the military.
7. Drink more but smoke less before going into the military.
8. Treat women better before entering the military.
9. Are more violent after completing their military service.
10. Have less radical social and political views after military service.
11. Have more energy and enthusiasm for life before they enter the military.

DISCUSSION:

1. Can you still remember your worse experience during military service?
2. Do you agree that mandatory military service is still as necessary today as it once was, or is it time for Korea to abandon this tradition?
3. Many people think that a person comes out of the military a different person compared to when they went in. do you agree with this, and if so, are the changes for the better or worse?
4. Do you know someone who seemed to have changed after completing his or her military service? What changes did you notice?
5. Soldiers only get paid pitifully small amount of money during their mandatory military service. Do you think this Amount is sufficient? Why or why not?
6. Do most people receive good treatment during their mandatory military service?
7. Many men try to avoid mandatory military service. Is army life too strict, or are there other reasons?
8. For a long time there has been a debate whether or not women should be allowed in a combat. Do you think that women are better able to survive on a battlefield?
9. If your wife or your daughter wanted to go into the battle, would you allow her?
10. These days, it is becoming popular for women to have babies abroad. One of the reasons is so that their sons can have foreign citizenship and avoid mandatory military service. What do you think about this?

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Most people tend to make certain assumptions about others, even before interacting with them. When you first meet someone how concerned are you about the impression you make? Nearly everyone tries to put their best foot forward when meeting others for the first time. However, some people consciously try to control themselves and monitor their behavior more than others.

DISCUSSION:

1. What evidence served as the basis for your first impression of your partner? What, for example made you think that your partner was or was not conservative? Check the categories below that apply.

v Style of dress
v Hairstyle / makeup
v Tone and volume of voice
v Facial expression
v Body Language
v Amount of eye contact
v Other

2. How might you judge a person dressed in smart casual dress compared to someone dressed in jeans and a t-shirt?
3. Do you often feel nervous when meeting someone for the first time? How about if they are native English speaker?
4. It is said that you only get once chance to make a good first impression. Do you agree? Why or why not?
5. Can you think of a time when you made a great first impression on somebody? How did it help you?
6. If a person you meet for the first time doesn’t say much, do you usually think that they are unfriendly, or that they don’t like you, or do you assume that they are shy?
7. What is it that makes you dislike a person the first time you meet them? What sorts of people turn you off right away?
8. Finding common interests, such as leisure activities, and likes and dislikes, is the usual way to get a conversation off to a good start. What kinds of topics do you usually use to break the ice?
9. What sorts of people do you have a natural affinity for as soon as you meet them?
10. Most of us pre-judge others to some extent before we even talk to them. How accurately do you think we can judge people based on their appearance alone?
11. If you want to make a good first impression on a member of the opposite sex, what are some things that you should and shouldn’t do? Do you have special technique?

12. Comment on the following quote.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

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Plastic Surgery and the Beauty Myth

There's no doubt about it: Korea is a cosmetic surgeon's paradise. In the more affluent areas of the country, it seems like there are cosmetic surgery clinics in nearly every office building. Almost everyone has a friend or relative who has had some part of their body nipped, tucked, tweaked, or otherwise changed. Cosmetic surgery has become so common, in fact, that it is virtually a non-issue. Someone could announce they are considering cosmetic surgery with the same nonchalance with which they'd tell people they are going to the dentist, and no one would bat an eye.

But who can blame people, really? Who wouldn't want to look younger, thinner, and prettier? A quick trip to clinic and you can get rid of those extra kilograms on your lunch hour, have those heavy calves thinned, or get the same nose or jaw-line as your favorite celebrity. It can all be yours through the miracle of plastic surgery.

Statistics show that at least one in ten women have had some kind of cosmetic surgery, and the number of men seeking to boost their ego is no less notable. People often say that getting cosmetic surgery will help them feel more confident about themselves. There are stories of women having surgery for the sole purpose of an interview, and some mothers, even suggest that their daughters do so—all of this, in the name of beauty.

This phenomenon also exists in other countries. In the United States, nearly 6.9 million cosmetic surgery procedures were performed in 2002, a number that has increased 228% since 1997.

Plastic surgeons claim that they do their best when they evaluate a prospective patient to see whether their perception of the likely results of surgery is realistic or if there is an underlying emotional problem behind the need for the surgery. Because of very low self-esteem, some individuals may have very distorted ideas about what they look like. They may be obsessively preoccupied with a perceived defect in their physical appearance even if others reassure them they look fine.

However, since a plastic surgery clinic is a business like any other, it is unlikely that as many potential clients get refused as should be.

There are, however, some very good reasons to undergo plastic surgery. Some people want to look younger so they can get or keep a job. Appearance may not matter for a college professor or a scientist, but in certain jobs it does matter and plastic surgery can help. Others may have features that are unusually large or small, or misshapen, attracting unwanted attention and making them feel continually self-conscious.

Comprehension:

1. A recent survey in a Korean publication stated that about one in ten Korean women have had some kind of cosmetic surgery. Does this sound accurate? How many people that you know have had cosmetic surgery of some kind?

2. Would you consider having cosmetic surgery? What would you change about yourself?

3. What kinds of cosmetic surgery are most popular? Why?

4. In Korea, as many other Asian countries, cosmetic surgery is widely accepted whereas in many Western countries, it is not. How can you account for this difference?

5. What do you think of the people who have cosmetic surgery?

6. Do you think people who have cosmetic surgery are truly happier about themselves? Do they feel more confident?

7. How would you feel if your spouse or partner wanted to have an expensive cosmetic surgery procedure? What would you do if you didn't actually agree that she needed it? What could she do instead?

8. What are the most some serious side effects associated with plastic surgery procedures? Do you know of any 'botched jobs'?

9. Is it really possible to improve your self-esteem through cosmetics or, does real self-esteem come from inside?

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