No Kids The Secret To A Happier Marriage

new study has found that having a child can make a couple less happy with each other. Researchers from the University of Denver conducted an eight-year study of 218 sets of parents. Their report is called “The effect of the transition to parenthood on relationship quality”. It is published in the March 2009 edition of the ‘Journal of Personality and Social Psychology’. The psychologists examined how happy couples were in the eight years after the birth of their first child. They concluded that the first baby put a lot of stress and pressure on a marriage. Ninety percent of couples experienced a decrease in marital bliss immediately following the birth of their first child. Unmarried couples experienced bigger problems.

It’s not all bad news for would-be parents. Some couples in the research said their relationship was stronger after their baby was born. Parents who were married for a long time before starting a family were happier. Couples on higher incomes also seemed to have fewer problems. Researcher Scott Stanley said his team’s findings did not mean children bring unhappiness in life. He said that parents may be happier as part of a family than as a childless couple. He noted that “this type of happiness can be powerful and positive”. Stanley also pointed out that couples who did not have children also became unhappier with each other over time. However, he said parenthood accelerated levels of unhappiness.

Discussion:

1. What are the secrets of a happy marriage?

2. What are the pros/cons of the following situations? Will you or won't you do the following?

a. Say “I love you”

b. Have children
c. Share the housework
d. Let him drive
e. She controls finances
f. Buy lots of presents

3. Rate these things in order of which bring greatest happiness to parents.

___baby’s birth

___baby’s first walk

___child’s first day at school

___child’s first A+ at school

___the first boy/girl friend

___graduation from university

___marriage
___the first grandchild

4. What did you think when you read the headline?
5. What springs to mind when you hear the word ‘marriage’?
6. Were you surprised by the Uni. of Denver’s research findings?
7. Do you think this research would make couples think twice about having children?
8. What’s the best number of children to have?
9. What do you think it is about having children that reduces marital bliss?
10. What is the “transition to parenthood”? Do you think it’s difficult?
11. What stresses and pressures does a first child bring?
12. Why do unmarried couples have more problems after having a child?
13. What is marital bliss? How long does it last?
14. What do would-be parents think about before starting a family?

PHOTO CREDIT: munfitnessblog.com/the-non-v...n-silence

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